First Post

This is a new start for a journal I began and abandoned. This is not really for anyone but me to record my thoughts and feelings - so if you do not like it, tough.

This is the second day I have been off work, both thanks to ill health bought about by spending too much time in a confined space with a few sick people who were only there thanks to Dr. Theatre.

The play - a panto - was something of success - I understand it has been one of the most profitable in the company's illustrious history (for which more see www.beaufortplayers.org.uk)

I am feeling somewhat better (unless you count a slightly sore throat - an irony when you consider I was playing a frog) and am looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow - and for a well earned swim and sauna session at the gym - two days of inaction have left me feeling frustrated and in need of expending energy.

I am also feeling fustrated at myself - I have discovered that I have feelings for someone - someone I thought may share them, but I am now not so sure. She canceled a planned date - but she said that she was tired and could we do it another time - but we all went to the pub anyway where we ate and drank - suggesting that this was not the truth.

I am sure she likes me - the first couple of times we went out together shwed we had a real rapport. We talked easily, laughed at the same things and even shared some personal info - have I mis-read the signs and she was looking for a mate and nothing more...?

If so then I can live with that - I have always said you can't have enough friends - and I have a fair track record of allowing feelings to diminish - I am just a bit sick of it now. Why do I seem to fall for unsuitable people? Or am I doing this deliberately to avoid a relationship - or is this self analysis pointless. Should I just shrug and move on...?

Hey ho - a new day is in the offing and if I am right and she thought I was looking for a friend and nothing more and now that I have perhaps suggested otherwise she is backing off - then that is all she wrote I am not in the habit of chasing lost causes.